4 Ways to Get Your Marriage Back to "The Way We Were"

Is your relationship with your husband or wife not quite what it used to be? Here are some possible problem areas and a few solutions courtesy of Tricia Cunningham from the National Institute of Marriage.
1) You Blame Your Spouse Often
If you find yourself blaming your spouse or being blamed by your spouse for everything from not being able to find car keys, to why your child scored a low grade on his or her report card, this is detrimental to a healthy marriage.
Solution: Remove blame from the discussion. Just stop the blame game, period. Instead, take personal responsibility for your part in the situation, and let your spouse take responsibility for his or her part without you pointing out what his or her part is.
2) You Assume the Worst
You've stopped giving each other the benefit of the doubt. In the early days of a marriage, spouses assume only the best motives for the other's actions. For example, the husband sleeps later than normal on a Saturday morning early in their marriage, the wife thinks, "He must have had a really hard week. I'm glad he gets a chance to sleep in." Now she thinks he’s being lazy and only cares about himself.
Solution: The next time your mate does something that you find irritating, try giving the benefit of the doubt. Cut each other some slack as often as possible. Remember the golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
3) You've Stopped Touching
If it's been a long time since you and your spouse have held hands together, cuddled on the couch, just reaching out to touch each other, you're relationship needs a booster shot. John Gottman says that when a couple's relationship has grown cold, they stop pinching, giggling over private jokes, and complimenting each other.
Solution: Look for times to reach out and touch your mate. Hold hands and kiss, even if you don't think it'll make a difference. You'll be surprised at the difference it makes. And try the 10 second kiss. Research shows that a ten second kiss can really add some "warmth" to a relationship that is cooling off.
4) You've stopped spending quality time together as a couple
If you still want to spend time together as a couple, but life has become so busy lately that it's gotten difficult, it could lead to trouble and needs immediate attention.
Solution: Plan a night or weekend together a.s.a.p. Plan to have fun together, doing something you know both of you will enjoy, and be intentional about re-creating good feelings towards one another. As you do this, you will begin to look forward to time together again. And as often as you can, flirt!